Saturday, January 22, 2005

For a count down to London, you can count on the Count-Down Man

In five days I'm off to Jolly Ol' England for a month of get-togethers, piss-ups, art viewings and film screenings. Understandably, I'm excited about having "Love Flush" in a film festival in London, being able to hang out in the UK with long lost friends (one of whom dubs everything into brilliantly off-kilter nick-names) and also spending time with my girlfriend in the world that she's originally from. All of this is reason to celebrate, but somehow I can't help but feel like something's missing with the lead up.
This afternoon I realized what that missing element was: a count-down man !!
Over the next five days what I need is a "count-down man", a person dressed up like a British Earl who'll count down all the exciting moments of my life. Before I start work Monday morning for the last time before my vacation, he'll count down to nine o'clock and then jump up and down with joy. Likewise on my last day, he'll be throwing confetti and singing "Old Lang Syne" This is what I would like to have in order to accurately express to all around the excitement of my upcoming trip.
I'm not joking.
In the future I would like to see a sketch about a man who tries to earn a living as a count-down man. Before you get your money out of the bank machine, he'll be there to 3-2-1 the money into your pocket or maybe before your food comes at a restaurant, he can drum up some excitement by counting down it's arrival. People in this sketch will of course be annoyed by his shouting and sweating, but you the audience will laugh at this uniquely annoying form of busking.
What I'm trying to say is: Please give me and my kind a t.v. show.